


Yours, Mine, & Ours

by eatsleepbreathejosh (whatareyousearchingfordean)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Josh Hutcherson - Fandom, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Josh Hutcherson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 10:56:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16871662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatareyousearchingfordean/pseuds/eatsleepbreathejosh
Summary: After a breakup, Riley and Josh spend one last night together, for old times sake. When she runs into him years later, she isn't sure about telling him her secret.





	1. The Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Prologue: July 15th 2017  
> Inspired by Ariana Grande's One Last Time

January 13, 2023

“Emma, do you think mommy should buy the green grapes or the red grapes this week?” I asked my daughter. She looked up at me, her hazel eyes sparkling under the florescent lights of the grocery store.

“Green!” She squealed and pointed and the bags in front of her.

“Green it is… again.” I huffed. I didn’t understand why I bothered to ask her every week because she always picked the green ones. I picked up a bag and dropped it into the cart. Emma squeezed her way between me and the cart, hopping up on the metal that hung below the main basket. Her eyes barely reached over the handle. I pushed her and the cart around to the apples.

“Can you grab mommy a bag sweetie?” I asked. She nodded and jumped off the cart. Excitedly she ran towards the bag roll.

“Mommy do you want one of these too?” She asked as she reached on her tippy toes. Her little hand barely reached the twist ties. I laughed to myself before moving to help her. But someone reached her before I did. They plucked a tie down and handed it to Emma. Nervously she took it before running back to me and hiding behind my leg. I followed my gaze up the broad torso of the man who had helped my daughter. Past the five o’clock shadow on his perfectly sculpted jaw, all the way up to the unforgettable sea of blue and green that was his eyes.

Josh

I was stunned. It felt lie the wind had been punched out of my chest by a 300 pound body builder. Here he just happened to be, at this store on this day and at this time. It’s been almost six years since the last time I saw him. I didn’t know what to say.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t little Riley Werner.” Josh smiles his cocky little sideways grin.

“Joshua. It’s been too long.” I mock. He pulls me into his arms, keeping locked in his embrace long enough to inhale his familiar scent. Pulling away he sneaks a peck on my cheek.

“I know, it’s been like 6 years.” Josh purses his lips. I can see the memory of the last night we spent together swim past his eyes.

“Crazy isn’t it?” Josh nods in agreement, looking down to Emma still standing behind me, nearly forgotten.

“Oh, Josh, this is my daughter Emma.” I introduce them. Bending down I move Emma out in front of me. “Emma, this is an old friend of mommy’s, Josh.” Josh kneels down beside me. He puts his hand out to her. Emma looks at my timidly and I nod. Quickly, she shakes his hand. 

I can see the amazement in his eyes as he stands back up. My stomach twists nervously.

“Wow, Riley, congratulations. She is gorgeous. She has your nose.” He sighs.

“She does have my nose doesn’t she?” I laugh. “So how are you doing Josh? I heard about you and Paige.”

“Um, I’m well. I’m doing well. That was almost two years ago now. You know, things just weren’t meant to be I guess. But it was civil and I don’t regret anything.” He answers nonchalantly. “How about you, seems like you’re doing well.”

“I’m doing okay. Being a single mom isn’t ideal but I do what I can.” I throw that last part in. Josh takes notice but says nothing.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, like you, I’m just living day to day. No regrets.” I nod. This exchange is becoming more and more awkward each second.

“Mommy?” Emma tugs on my pant leg.

“What baby?”

“I’m hungry.” She whines.

“Oh you’re hungry? You’re always hungry. You never stop eating.” I joke picking her up and slinging her on my hip.

“I should let you go.” Josh hesitates, obviously hoping I stop him.

“Let me give you my number and maybe we can get together sometime.” I comment placing Emma in the cart. Josh pulls out his phone and I spout off my number to him. “Call me sometime.”

“I will.” I hear him promise as I head off towards the checkout.


	2. The Reunion

“You are such a fucking tease.” Josh growls against my lips pushing my back and flattening it up against the wall.

It had been 5 years since I had last seen Josh. We had broken up, and it wasn’t pretty. We went our separate ways. I moved back to Napa for 2 years before coming back to LA. I had run into Josh at George’s bar. He found me, and even after all these years and all the things said and done we ended up here; my apartment.

“You love it though.” I smile. His tongue drives into my mouth. His breath coming quickly warms me from head to toe. I claw my fingers at the back of his neck pulling him closer to me. His fingers intertwine in my hair.

“Sure.” Josh’s hands make their decent to my waist, lifting my cotton shirt ever so slightly. He draws patterns onto the skin of my stomach. I raise my arms, allowing him to pull my shirt over my head. He sighs as he brings his lips to my neck and down my shoulder. Josh’s fingers slide the straps of my bra down just enough to free my breasts. My nipples instantly bud at the cool air of my apartment. Josh glides his tongue down my chest and around my small peaks. 

“I need you.” I moan as he pulls away. He nods before picking me up and carrying me into my room. I laugh as he drops me onto my bed. He strips off his boxers and jeans as I take my bra off completely followed by my shorts. He crawls towards me on the bed, his eyes dark with lust stay attached to mine. I whimper when he grabs my thigh. My wetness is undoubtedly evident as Josh kisses up my inner thigh. I moan again.

“My turn to be the tease.” He laughs as he trails kisses along my panty line. 

“Go right ahead.” I huff. The heat was running through my core in anticipation of his touch. I remember the talent his tongue possessed. It was the best I had ever felt. I gasp as his tongue makes a long sweeping motion over my panties before he full on dives in. My fingers curl into the sheets as he rubs his nose against my clit.

“Fuck.” I gasp again.

“I will but you must be patient.” He mocks.

“You know I was never one for patience.”

“Oh I know.” He flashes me a sideways grin as he slides off my panties.

“Oh god you are so wet.” He mumbles against my folds, his tongue making its second attack against me.

My toes curl and my stomach clenches as my orgasm threatens to overtake me. Josh isn’t backing down either. His mouth is devouring me whole and I’m not sure how much longer i can hold on. 

“Josh!” I scream as I ride out my orgasm. He lifts his head to look at me before lapping his tongue over his lips.

“You taste as delicious as ever.” 

“Whatever. Just fuck me please.” I beg as I pull his throbbing cock from his Calvin Kleins.

He nods as I lift myself up. He pulls my lips to his before moving behind me. He bends me forward over the foot board of my bed. He glides a finger over my folds before gently entering me. A quiet huff escapes his lips. I moan as he thrusts in and out of me. His hands take hold of my long blonde locks, wrapping them around his hand. I loved it when he got a little rough. Josh leans forward and begins whispering profanities into my ear as he increases speed. He felt so good inside of me. I never wanted to leave this moment right now. My ecstasy grew with each pump. I moved my hand to my clit and began rubbing circles.

“That’s right baby, pleasure yourself. Come for me.” He continues to whisper in my ear.

“I’m going to.” I gasp as another orgasm creeps up on me. He is flying fast now, his breath becoming short and quickened. I throw my head back as my second orgasm washes over me. Josh continues to thrust his hips, his orgasm overcoming him quickly. 

“Jesus. You are like heaven.” He gasps. Josh pulls himself from me, plopping onto the bed next to me bringing me into his chest, I nuzzle my nose into his little tuffs of chest hair.

“You’re not half bad yourself.” I reply, closing my eyes and breathing in his familiar scent. I slowly start to drift away to the sound of his soft breaths when his phone suddenly goes off in his pocket. He ignores it and it finally stops. I close my eyes again hoping to drift off when it happens again. This time he groans before getting up and picking up his phone. He looks at the screen for a moment before sighing.

“I’m sorry I have to go, it’s Paige.” He sighs as he puts his clothes back on. He walks over to me and kisses my forehead before walking out the door to return to his wife.


	3. Same Old Josh

September 13th, 2017

Back and forth. Back and forth. My feet mindlessly carry me from one end of my bedroom to another. I rip a piece of my nail from the rest. I’ve never chewed on my nails. Ever. But with great stress comes drastic measures. More than anything I wish that my phone will go off. Each passing second feels like a minute.

How could we have been so stupid? You hear stories of it happening but no one ever thinks it will happen to them. The chances are what…. one in a million? I could very well be that one. It would be just my luck of course.

My stomach drops as my ringtone chimes from my phone. The timer is out, and my fate awaits me. I return to my bathroom. I take a few deep breaths before pulling the test out of the sink.

The test with a faint pink plus sign.

January 20th, 2023

“Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Would you like to stay forever?”

I laugh as the movie comes to an end. Emma is asleep next to me on the couch, slightly snoring. She has never been able to stay awake for a whole movie. It’s only five thirty when my phone begins vibrating. I pull it off the coffee table and answer it.

“Hello?”

“Riley?”

“Yes?” I answer questioningly.

“Hey it’s Josh.” Josh laughs. We both take a breath. He sounds nervous.

“What can I do for ya Josh?” I chime sitting back into the cushions.

“Um, if you didn’t have any plans, I was wondering if you wanted to get some drinks tonight?” He chokes out.

“Um it’s a little last minute for me to try and find a babysitter.” I sigh.

“Right, right. I didn’t think about that. Um sorry.” He sputters. It’s very out of character for him.

“It’s fine. Listen, how about tomorrow? Say seven o’clock?” I suggest.

“Sounds good. I’ll pick you up.”

“I’ll text you my address. Bye Josh.”

“Bye Riley.” I smile and shake my head. I text my best friend Madison and her reply comes shortly after.

Madison agrees to watch Emma for me, quickly attempting to get the name of my date out of me.

It’s typical of Madison to be nosy. But if she were to find out I was going out with Josh, she would do everything in her power to stop it. In her mind, a date with Josh is a date with the Devil. So for right now, it’s best for everybody if she just remains in the dark.

*****

“And we are going to watch movies, and eat popcorn and I’m going to do her hair.” I nod as Emma rambles on about her stay at Madison’s.

“Is that so?” I laugh.

“Aunt Maddie is the funnest.” She says in a matter of fact.

“Not me, you’re very own mother?” I inquire, looking down at her as we walk up Madison’s side walk.

“No.” Emma states as I knock on the door.

“Oh.” Madison opens the door in a matter of seconds. Emma runs in past her without a goodbye.

“Well she’s excited.” Madison comments.

“Yeah well you are the funnest.” I mock in my daughter’s voice.

“I know.” She smiles. “So is it someone you work with?”

“Ugh, no. I’m not telling you. I want to see what becomes of it first. If it goes bad then you can’t say I told you so.” I groan. She stares at me with a smug grin.

“Oh, I’ll still tell you.”

“You would.”

“Well, have fun and use protection.” She calls as I walk away.

“We are so hilarious.”

I make my way home and get begin getting ready for the night. It was hard to find something to wear. I shouldn’t be nervous it’s just drinks with Josh. At the same time, it’s the first time we have interacted since we slept together while he was married. Oh yeah, and I had his kid and never told him. I shake that thought out of my mind. I quickly decide on a red cocktail dress I have owned forever.

The doorbell rings not shortly after I finish getting ready. I run to it slipping on my heels and grabbing my clutch. Josh stands on the other side dressed in dark jeans and shirt and tie. His smile widen as he took me in.

“You look amazing.” He comments.

“Thanks, you’re not half bad yourself.” I laugh.

“Ready?” Josh questions putting his arm out for me to take.

“Ready.”


	4. Good Old Days

uly 15th, 2017

I watch as the bartender slides the shots across the bar. Madison and I throw them back in unison. I inhale sharply as the liquid burns down my throat.

“Drink it up! This is your last night as a free woman.” Madison slurs as she turns to me.

“Um, I think I’ve had enough already.” I hiccup. “Besides it’s not like I’m getting married.”

“Ugh, you’re going to be a working woman now, in the real world.” She nods in affirmation.

“You’re so drunk.” I laugh. She shrugs and signals to the bartender for another.

“Oh my god.”

“What?” I questioned. Madison was glaring off into the distance behind me.

“Um ex-boyfriend headed this way, six o’clock.” She nods. My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I whip around. To my astonishment, Josh is headed my way, drink in hand.

“Hey Riley.” He nods as he approaches. I don’t respond, just staring. Madison has to hit my leg before I open my mouth.

“Hey Josh.”

“What brings you here?” He asks looking from Madison to me.

“Um I’m celebrating my new job.” I answer. We quickly fall into an awkward silence. Madison’s eyes dart between Josh and me.

“Um, I have to pee.” Madison says jumping off her bar stool. “I won’t wait up.” I glare at her as she heads off.

“You look great. It’s been a few years.” He says as he moves closer to me. Yeah, it’s been a few years since our nasty breakup. What in the hell is he trying to pull?

“Yeah, thanks.” The words fall from my mouth almost routinely. Josh sets his drink on the table before turning back to me. I looked him up and down as he leans closer to me.

“Really sexy.” He purred in my ear before drawing back again. The sensation of his warm breath against my skin sent a shockwave crashing over my body.

“Josh, I….” My words are cut off by his lips. They are as soft as they have ever been and gentle, waiting for permission. I could begin to sense that familiar feeling bubbling up in my belly. My head began to spin.

“Why don’t we get out of here? Go to your place?” He suggests, his face still centimeters from mine.

“You’re mar…” I try to explain but he stops me again. He knows very well where he stands but I’m not sure he cares. My wall begins to crumble as Josh’s tongue slides into my mouth. I can taste the rum on him. He had been drinking for a while already.

“What do you say?” His husky voice rings in my ears causing my panties to become slick. I nod in agreement, though every fiber in my mind is screaming at me otherwise. I would come to regret this, I could tell already.

January 21st, 2023

We pull up in the back of a building. Josh said it was for security reasons. I understood. Hell, his sudden boost in stardom was a factor in our big blow out. We took the back entrance in and my stomach dropped. We were at George’s, the same bar we met in that led to the conceiving of Emma.

I tried to remain casual, unaware as to whether or not he remembered. He acted natural, so either he doesn’t remember or he is using his uncanny acting skills. I find it unlikely though that he forgot but I could be wrong.

We sat down at the bar and ordered a few drinks. Our conversation started to flow nicely once I had alcohol in my system. We had six years to make up for. Josh’s career was where we started. All the projects and people he has met lately. I listened intently, his passion for his job sprinkling out through every sentence. I told him about my job as a real estate agent and how much my life changed when I got pregnant.

“I still can’t believe you have a daughter. She really looks just like you.” He laughed as he finished his second drink.

“She is five and I still think I’ll wake up from this dream. Emma is the best thing to ever happen to me. I regret nothing.” I emphasize my last sentence. Josh smiles to himself. I watch him as he has what seems to be an internal battle with himself.

“I’m trying my hardest not to be nosy I swear. But I have to ask about her father. Where is he?” Josh spits out. My heart jumps in my chest. I could feel my hands becoming slick around the glass I was holding. I take a sip, carefully choosing my words.

“Her father and I… we have a… complicated relationship.” I manage to answer. He nods, searching my face.

“Is he in her life?” He pries further.

“No, he doesn’t know about her.” I gulp. “And for right now I’d like to keep it that way.” I tell him. Josh can tell I’m being vague for a reason. Mentally I’m sure he is deciding to drop the subject.

“I’m sure you have your reasons.” Josh mumbles as he sips from his newest drink.

You have no idea.

We finish our drinks quickly. Josh changed the subject easily and decided it was time to go. We left the way we came; incognito. I was happy to say we lasted the night without being noticed. It was nice. It was normal.

When we arrived at my home, Josh got out and opened the door for me. He offered me his hand as I exited his car. I can see his gentlemen side never disappeared. Josh walked me to my door, waiting as I unlocked it.

“Riley, I had fun. I’ve missed my best friend.” He says as I turn the knob. I turn back to him. He is staring down at his feet nervously. I laugh to myself.

“I’ve missed you too.” I smile as he looks up at me. His eyes coming level with mine, he leans in slowly. I freeze, startled by his advance, unsure of whether or not this is really the best idea. I don’t stop him though, allowing him to gently press his lips to mine. Easily I melt into him, just like I do every time I kiss him. My eyes close slowly. When our lips are connected, I lose all ability to think straight. My common sense flies right out the door. It’s not until the pressure between us increases that I snap back to myself. I pull away, my hand flying to my mouth.

“Josh we can’t.” I mutter, my eyes still closed.

“Goodnight Riley.” He grumbles, accepting my refusal.

“Goodnight Josh.”


	5. It's My Life

February 9th, 2023

 

“So Grover was the monster?” Emma asked me for the third time. I laughed.

“Yes.” I have given up all hope on trying to explain it to her again. She would get it eventually. “Want to read another?” I asked her. She nodded and hopped off my lap to run to the book case. I watched as she toddled over. A faint knocking came from the door as Emma made her way back to me. She stopped as soon as she heard it, looking at me questioningly.

“Stay here.” I said as I got up from the floor. She plopped down on the rug as I made my way to the front door. Pulling it open, I’m greeted by that familiar crooked smile.

“What are you doing here Josh?” I ask, leaning against the door. I barely opened it a crack.

“I came to see what you were doing this afternoon. I was hoping we could get dinner.” He smiled warmly. Damn his boyish charm.

“Josh, Emma…”

“I know, I was hoping we all could go.”

I contemplated his request, unsure of it. It’s not like I don’t know Josh, but the thought of him meeting Emma seriously stresses me out. It’s just one of those things that has to happen and Josh is trying so hard.

“What did you have in mind?” I question, crossing my arms.

“Well, Disney just opened this new restaurant slash arcade thing here in LA. I thought Emma would like it.” Josh shrugged. I could hear the hope in his voice.

“Come in.” I motion as I walk back into the living room. Emma looks up at us as we enter. “Emma, get your shoes on, we are going to go get some dinner.” I tell her. She hops up and moves to our shoe rack by the side door. I watch her slip on some sandals I just bought her. I grab her jacket from the hook and slide her into it.

I can sense her nervousness around Josh. She doesn’t know very many men besides my dad so I can see how she would be weary. Hopefully she will be able to warm up to him.

And warm up to him she did. By the time we made it to the restaurant, Josh had her talking to him like they were old friends. I sat back silently as he asked her about her likes and dislikes. I was proud of her for warming up to him so quickly. This would make things easier in the long run.

This new restaurant, Enchanted Castle, was located on the upper west side of LA. We arrived in little time. I guess Disney will never just stop. Although I’m surprised that it took them this long to pick it up. After Chuck-E-Cheese went out of business in 2015, there hasn’t been much like it.

Now here we are. In a hot cramped restaurant that smells like feet. Don’t get me wrong I love kids, just not spoiled brats who scream when they don’t get to ride one more ride before they leave. I could tell Josh was trying though, so I kept my mouth shut.

We were walked to a booth in the middle of the bustling restaurant. Josh slid in across from Emma and me. I ordered us a couple of ice waters before examining the menu. I could feel Josh’s eyes on me. I set the menu down in front of me.

“What?” I question.

“I know you which means I know your faces. They have changed one bit. You’re scrutinizing the menu. Why?”

“Josh, a lot has changed in the eleven years since we dated.” I said matter of fact.

“Like?” He laughed.

“Like, I’m way more environmentally conscious.” Sliding the kid’s cup to Emma, I raised my eyebrows at him.

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I try to not eat anything that is not organic and I do my part to help save this Earth, Joshua.” I crossed my arms.

“So you’re not going to eat?” He looked disappointed. Now I wish I hadn’t said anything.

“Josh, it’s not like that. I said that’s what I eat and what I feed my child, not that that is the only thing I eat.” I attempt to save myself. He huffed as the waitress came back to take our order. Our food arrived quickly. I sat in awe as I watched both Emma and Josh shoveled their food into their mouths. Of course her eating habits would come from her father. She finished not far behind him.

“Mommy, let’s play.” Emma mumbled as she tugged on my sleeve.

“I’m still eating but I’m sure if you asked Josh really nicely he would play with you.” I pushed, looking up at Josh. He only caught his name in our conversation.

“What?”

“Emma wants to go play.” I hinted. He looked at her then back to me before replying.

“Come on Emma, I’ll take you to the ball pit.” She slid out of the seat and followed him to the pit. I continued to eat my dinner as I watched them.

Their similarities were astounding. She hasn’t met the guy until today and she even walks like him. Her nose was just as slender as his and her eyes the same shade of amber. Watching them interact like old friends causes my heart to soar in my chest.

November 23rd, 2017

I popped a few slices of the potato I was cutting into my mouth. My mother was behind me, pour the juices back over the turkey in the oven. As I finished the last potato, I threw a final piece into my mouth.

“Hey why don’t you leave some for the rest of us?” My sister commented as she strode into the kitchen.

“Shut up.” I said with my mouth still full of potato.

“Well I’m just saying you look like you’ve gained a little weight.” She frowned.

“Tori, be nice to your sister.” My mother told her as she set her oven mitts on the counter next to me.

“I haven’t gained that much.” I mumbled, trying to cover myself.

“Um looks like a little bit to me.” Tori chuckled as she leaned forward and pinched the skin of my lower abdomen.

“Victoria, stop!” I yelled as I swatted her hand away.

“What’s wrong with you?” My mother asked turning to Tori and I.

“Nothing.” I mumbled again.

“No, it’s not ‘nothing’. You’re unusually cranky. Tell me.”

“Mom, I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” She stood her ground staring at me. Tori joined in both of their stares waiting, judging.

I took a deep breath to clear my head. I was choking on my tongue, trying to find a way to tell my mother I was pregnant.

“Well?” She pushed me again.

“I… I’m.” I gulped. “I’m pregnant.” I cringed, waiting for my mother to blow up. To my surprise she just stood in shock. My sister’s face mirrored hers, both unable to utter a word.

“How could you do this? Did you crave my attention that badly?” My mom whispered.

“Mom, I didn’t do this on purpose trust me. I know that you would disapprove that I got pregnant without being married but this is just as much of a shock to me as it is to you.” I pleaded.

“Who’s the father?” I looked down evading her gaze. “Riley, who is the father?” She reiterated.

“Josh.”

“Josh? As in Josh Hutcherson? As in married actor Josh Hutcherson?” My mother threw at me. I nodded simply. “God, Riley how could you? Does he know?”

“Mom, I was drunk, people do stupid things when they are drunk. And no, he doesn’t know.” I tried to explain.

“Do you plan on telling him?” Tori butted into the conversation.

“No.”

“Riley, he has a right to know.” Tori said.

“You think I don’t know that Tori? It is way more complicated that it seems. As mom so nicely pointed out he’s married. I can’t just walk into his house carrying a ‘congrats you’re a father card’. It’s better for him if he doesn’t know.”

“It is his right as the father to know. Riley, you can’t just take the easy way out.” Victoria was yelling now.

“This is so not the easy way out. Put yourself in my shoes and tell me you would uproot his entire life and possibly his career.” I raised my voice.

“Maybe you should of thought of that before you slept with a married man.” Her hand flew to her mouth but it was too late. She had crossed the line and she knew it.

“Riley I didn’t mean-” She began but I cut her off.

“You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it.” I mumbled as I wiped my hands on the towel.

“Riley,”

“No.” I said sternly before walking out the doo


	6. Rekindle

November 23rd, 2017 (Thanksgiving) –Josh’s POV

“Speaking of children”

“Oh god here we go again.” I looked up as Paige laughed nervously. Her hand fell on my thigh, rubbing it up and down.

“Well, you aren’t going to be young forever darling.” Her mother piped. She folded her hands under her chin. Her gaze fell on me.

“Mrs. King, we understand that you want children, and Paige and I have been talking about it.” I skirt around her question.

“Well Josh what are you waiting for?” She asked again.

“Mom, we have a lot going on in our lives right now. A baby is the least of our worries.” Paige butted in for me. I sighed in relief. I knew that this would come up as it always does when we talk with Paige’s parents.

The rest of dinner was mostly silent. I think her parents were offended by her comment but I couldn’t worry about that. She had removed her hand from my leg. Paige was pissed and that was my worry.

We left her parent’s house in high tensions. The whole drive back to the hotel was in silence. I tried my best to focus on the road, but I was preparing myself for the fight that was about to ensue.

I skirted past her to the bathroom and began undressing. She was taking out her earrings when I returned to the bedroom.

“Say it Paige.” I huffed, tossing my belt onto the floor.

“Say what Josh?”

“What did I do wrong this time?”

“It’s not what you did, it’s just the stress on our relationship. I feel like we are falling apart.” She whined.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” My voice began to rise.

“You don’t talk to me, you don’t touch me. The only time we have sex is when I’m ovulating. It’s bland and unemotional.” Paige cried. The tears were falling down her cheeks in frustration. I hated to see her cry. I reached out to her to pull her into my arms but she swatted my hands away from her.

“Paige I love you and you know that.” I tried to reason with her.

“Josh, we are slipping away from each other. I don’t know what is happening between us.”

I couldn’t find any words to say. Both of us could feel the tension that’s been there for the past few months. She saw me struggling for the right words to say.

“I’m sorry that parents are up our asses about the whole baby thing. If I could get them to shut up I would. And I’m sorry that I can’t get pregnant. I let my parents down and I let you down.” She whimpers turning away from me. I’m rooted helpless as I watch her lock herself in the bathroom.

February 9th, 2023

I stood in the doorway as Riley swiped a loose stand of hair from Emma’s face. Leaning down from her position on the edge of Emma’s bed, Riley kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight pumpkin.” She whispered.

“Goodnight mommy.” Emma whispered. Riley stood up and headed back my way. She flicked off the light and followed me back to the living room. We plopped down on the couch together.

“Want to watch a movie?” She suggested, glancing at me.

“Sure.” I agreed. I watched her slip something into the player and return to her seat next to me. Meaningless trailers flash across the screen. We both watched in silence until the menu showed up. It looked like some sort of romantic comedy. She hit play and the movie began. I caught myself glancing at her numerous times in the early minutes of the movie. I was intrigued by the way she got so into the movie. She nuzzled herself closer to me.

“So we have gone out a few times now.” I said after clearing my throat.

“We have.” Riley murmured not averting her attention from the screen.

“I know we haven’t talked in a long time, and last time we did, well you know what happened.” I could hear her breath hitch in her throat, probably at the memory.

“And?” she inquired almost coldly.

“I was wondering if, even under the circumstances, you think we could try this again.” I smiled as she looked up at me.

“Try what?”

“Us. Try us again. I think with all that has happened that both of us never got over each other.”

“Josh, I have a daughter and that’s a lot of baggage. Are you sure that this is something you want to take on?” She moved herself away from me. I sat up, taking her hands in mine.

“Emma is your daughter and I love you, so naturally, even though I just met her, I love her too.” I poured myself out for her. She turned her head from me, closing her eyes. I gave her a minute while she sorted through her thoughts. When she turned back to me, she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah? We are going to do this?” I pushed for verification.

“Yeah.”


	7. Do Not Divulge

February 14th, 2023 (Riley’s POV)

 

“It’s Valentine’s Day, where is your new boy toy?” Maddie laughed as I came back into the kitchen. Emma was in the living room playing.

“Really?” I sighed, cocking my head.

“Yeah, don’t you wanna have a little fun loving?” She asked, moving her body in what she thought was sexy moves.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Maddie urged placing her hands on her hips.

“Nothing is wrong with him, per say.” I shrugged.

“Then why won’t you tell me who it is?”

“Because I-” I was cut off as a knock came from the door. I jumped up nervously, running to pull it open. Josh stood on the other side, holding a huge bouquet of Calla Lilies and two boxes of candy. He leaned forward and pecked me on the lips before handing me the bouquet.

“They are beautiful, thank you.” I smiled. He filtered in past me to Emma before leaning down and handing her the smaller box of chocolates.

“One for my other lovely lady.” He smiled. Emma thanked him before opening the box.

“Only two for now Emma.” I smiled. I had forgotten about Maddie until she burst into the living room. I froze as her gaze fell on Josh.

“Maddie! How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in forever.” Josh laughed, obviously feeling the tension.

“Not forever, unfortunately.” Maddie spat, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Maddie, do you want to help me find a vase for these?” I coughed, giving her a look. She frowned at me before following me back into the kitchen. I rounded the island and set the flowers down. I sighed and turned around.

“Say it.”

“This is your mystery guy? What are you thinking?” She whispered angrily.

“He’s Emma’s father, he deserves something of a chance.” My voice fell. I could feel the heat rising in my face. I was nervous discussing this with Josh only 20 feet away.

“Does he know? Did you tell him?”

“No, we just started things up again. I’m trying to figure out how to tell him. You can’t exactly find a card for this type of situation.”

“Riley, I love you and I don’t want to see you get hurt again. You need to tell him before things go too far.” Maddie sighed. Her motherly concern look crossed her face. I knew what she would say before she said it.

“I’ll tell him, I just need time.” I jumped as Emma came running into the room, Josh tailing her. She slid her box of chocolates on the counter as best she could.

“Did you find a vase?” Josh inquired as he slid his arm around my waist.

“Yes. I’ll take care of it.” I tried to smile but failed.

“Listen, its Valentine’s Day and I have no plans. You two go have fun and I’ll watch Emma,” Madison offered. I could tell she didn’t like the idea but she still offered.

“Thank you.” I mouthed. I kissed Emma goodbye as Josh pulled me out of the house.

“I take it you didn’t tell her we were back together,” Josh smiled as we headed to his house.

“Madison has very strong opinions after all that went down.” I replied matter of fact.

“Is that so? Well, hopefully we can turn her mind back around” He laughed. We reached his house in no time. I had never been to this one. When he married Paige they moved to a bigger place and he was forced to move again when they divorced. It was fairly small, but why does a single man need a huge place.

Josh led me into the house through the garage. I smiled as I heard the familiar scraping of nails on the hardwood. Driver came walking into the kitchen. It had been years since I had seen him. To be honest, I was surprised to see he was still alive. I knelt down to him as he slowly made his way to me and sniffed my hand for a few seconds before licking my face.

“He’s going blind. It hurts to watch him get old.” Josh sighed.

“Emma has been asking to get a dog for a while now. I’m working my way up to it.” I laughed.

“Well, he never gets out of his bed so we can’t be interrupted.”

“Interrupted?” I raised an eyebrow. He leaned towards me, both of his hands sliding to cup my face. Slowly his lips met mine, their warmth radiating through my body. I grabbed his hands, sliding them down to my waist and then around to my back. As our lips remained attached to each other’s, all of those old feelings began to build up and bubble in the pit of my stomach.

“Josh, I need you.” I breathed as we pulled away from each other and watched as his eyes grew dark with lust. He picked me up, swinging my legs around his waist. Our lips tangled again as he carried me into his bedroom. He set me down and began vigorously stripping himself of his clothing. I bit my lip as I watched him shimmy out of his clothes, his muscles flexing. I followed suit slipping out of everything but my panties by the time he climbed over me.

“You’re so beautiful.” He murmured against the skin on my neck. Slowly he traced his tongue down my neck, between my breasts and past my belly button. I giggled as he tucked his fingers into the waistband of my panties and slowly tugged them down my legs. The goose bumps rose over my exposed flesh.

“No teasing today.” I smiled down at him as he moved between my legs.

“Never baby.” Josh whispered before nuzzling himself into my sex. His tongue dipped into my core eliciting a cry from me. My fingers slid into the hair tufted at the top of his head as he devoured my sex. The heat built up and quickly I knew the end was coming. My hips rose from the bed to meet his eager tongue as I craved for my wave of ecstasy.

“Oh! Josh!” I cried as my orgasm exploded inside of me. My legs shook as Josh gently blew on my overly sensitive sex.

“Nothing is hotter than watching you come.” He growled as he licked me off of his lips.

“Just come here and fuck me.” I shook my head, pulling his mouth back up to mine. Eagerly I watched as he stroked himself, preparing to enter me. He gave no warning before setting himself into me. A huff of breath fell from my lips as I adjusted to his size.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He cursed as the sweat built up on his forehead. I barely understood the next wave of profanities falling from his lips. All I could focus on was the feeling deep inside of me from being close to Josh again. Nothing compared to having his chest pressed against mine, his mouth on my neck, and the feeling of him inside of me.

“I love you so much.” He whispered into my ear. His sex voice pushed me closer to the edge.

“I’m so close.” I sighed back to him.

“Me too.” He huffed. He pulled himself away from me, picking up his tempo. The empty room filled with our ragged breaths as we came together. Josh collapsed on the pillow next to me, pulling me into his chest.

“I love you too, Josh,” I smiled as I kissed his chest and fell into a dreamless sleep.

January 16th, 2018

I sat back in my sister’s recliner, resting my hands on my swollen belly. Victoria was flipping through the channels on her T.V. and stopped on some sort of late night talk show. She tossed the remote into the basket of clothes she was folding in front of me. The host went on with his banter as we mindlessly watched.

“When we return, Hollywood hunk Josh Hutcherson here to talk up his upcoming project ‘Newlyweds’.” My head snapped up at the mention of Josh. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Victoria glance my way.

“Do you want me to change it?” She asked apprehensively.

“No, let’s watch it.” My lips mumbled. I wasn’t sure if this was the best idea but there was no turning back now.

“Ok.” Victoria huffed, turning back to her laundry.

Quickly the show returned from commercial. Josh was introduced, walking on stage like he always has flashing that panty dropping smile. He sat and the small talk began. They rambled on about his new project that I had no interest in. It wasn’t until Paige was mentioned that my stomach dropped.

“Speaking of babies, how about we address the rumors that your beautiful wife Paige is pregnant?” The interviewer laughed. Josh shook his head before answering.

“No, unfortunately she isn’t pregnant. Now is just not the time for us but we do plan on having them in the future.” I saw a glint of disappointment flash behind his eyes. What for I couldn’t guess.

“That’s no fun, we were hoping for some juicy details. It will happen for you.”

“Hopefully yes.” Josh laughed again. He was such a charmer.

“You see?” I choked out.

“See what?” Victoria questioned turning back to me.

“Josh is in a committed relationship. His life is at its peak and I can’t be the one to have it all come crumbling down.” I said looking down at my swollen feet.

“Riley, I still think he needs to know.” She tried to reason with me.

“No. After watching this, it only confirms my reasoning.” I pushed myself off of the couch and shuffled out of the room.


	8. Troubles

February 17th, 2023

 

I jumped at the thump against the refrigerator behind me. I whipped around to see Emma pulling her art project from the fridge.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“Looking at my painting,” she stated. I watched her walk around the island. She climbed up on the seat and set the paper in front of her.

“Okay then. What do you want for lunch? PB&J or mac n’ cheese?” I laughed. She scrunched up her face in thought before screaming out.

“PB&J!”

“Simmer down there love.” She bounced on her chair as I pulled out everything to make her lunch. I was spreading the peanut butter on the bread when she spoke again.

“Mommy, where is Josh?” She asked still looking down.

“Um, well you know Josh make movies right?” She nodded her head and waited for me to finish. “Well, he had to make a trip to let everyone know about his new movie so they can go see it,” I tried to explain to her where he went.

“Oh, I wanted to show him my painting. I worked really hard on it.” She sighed.

“I know honey. We can show it to him when he gets back,” I assured her as I cut her sandwich in half and slid it to her. I smiled as she seemed content with my answer.

March 19th, 2012

It rang again.

And again.

And again, until his voicemail finally picked up.

“Hey, it’s Josh, sorry I’m so busy. You know what to do.” Beep. I hit the end button and tossed my phone onto my bed. Plopping down on top of the comforter, I let the tears spill over. My frustration had reached its boiling point.

Why couldn’t he just answer his damn phone or text me back? I know that we fought, but I figured that it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Maybe Josh isn’t who I think he is? Is he really about to end a two year relationship over this little thing. All I had said was that I missed him, what did he hear? That I think he should quit his job. He completely overreacted. Now here we are, on opposite sides of the country, not talking at all. 

I wish that I could take back what I said. I missed seeing him every day, and if telling him that meant I never got to see him again, I would cut my tongue out before I said it again.

If only I could turn back the clock…


	9. Um

March 10th, 2023

“Are we there yet?” Emma whines from the backseat.

“No baby, but almost.” I laugh as I glance at her in my rearview mirror. Josh has just returned from promoting his movie and invited Emma and I to his party. Emma is super excited. As for me, I’m nervous. I’m nervous because Josh said his family was in town and were going to be there. I hope my anxiety isn’t obvious to everyone.

The drive to Josh’s house in the hills is about thirty minutes from my place. Emma is itching to get out of her car seat as I pull into the driveway. I get out and pull her from the car. As we approach his front door you can hear the music grow louder. Before I can even knock, the door swings open.

“Riley!” Michelle screams as she pulls me into her embrace. I release my grip on Emma’s hand so she isn’t tugged into it.

“Hi Michelle! It’s great to see you.” I grunt as she lets go of me.

“It’s been way too long hon. And who is this?” She questions, looking down at Emma.

“My daughter, Emma.” I smile as I flatten the hairs on top of her head. Michelle face forms a look of wonder before she quickly composes herself.

“She’s adorable. Hello Emma.” She bends down to get on Emma’s level.

“Hello,” Emma whispers shyly.

“Well come in. You are all Josh has been talking about since we got here. I wasn’t the least bit shocked when he told me you two were back together. I always knew you would find your way back to each other. Paige was-”

“Mom!” Josh cuts her off as we make our way into the kitchen.

“What?” She inquires.

“Stop, please.” Josh pleads. His mom pouts before picking up her drink from the counter.

Josh’s house is filled with tons of his friends. Chris is working the grill out on the back patio. I glance to my left to see Andre and Amanda heading my way. I’m pulled into a bear hug as Andre reaches me. I can feel my feet lift from the ground before he lets go of me.

“Big Sexy!” I laugh enthusiastically. Amanda laughs with me, gracing me with a hug.

“This is my daughter Emma.” I introduce her before they can ask. They glance at each other before saying hello.

“Hey, it’s such a beautiful day, why don’t we head outside.” Josh suggests as he breaks the awkward silence that falls over the room. We follow Andre and Amanda outside as Josh kisses my cheek.

“Thanks for that,” I whisper to him as he slips his arm around my waist.

“No problem.” He smiles.

Chris finishes the burgers and we all sit down to eat. We all watch as Emma inhales her food, before asking for some more.

“Damn that girl can eat.” Andre laughs. I chuckle nervously as I fill her plate with some more food.

“It runs in the family.” I couldn’t help but let my hint spill from my lips.

“Obviously not your side.” He glances at my still full plate.

“Nope.” I quickly glance at Josh before continuing to eat.

Michelle begins grilling Emma with questions when we finish eating. Thankfully Josh saves Emma, interrupting his mother’s inquiry and taking her to go and play Frisbee. I sit and watch them with Michelle.

“You know, Josh had those exact same extremely chubby cheeks when he was a baby.” Michelle notes as she takes a sip of her beer.

“I did too,” I attempt to divert her. Her eyebrows furrow as she examines them further.

“She has the same gangly-ness that Josh had as a kid,” Michelle comments again as we watch Emma almost face plant trying to catch the Frisbee. I glance around me, thankful that there is no one near.

“Well, I think most kids are awkward at this stage. They are just putting their feet into the world and are quiet unsure.” My mouth rambles on, attempting to make their resemblances seem merely coincidental. She shrugs, obviously accepting my diversion.

I watch them play for a little while longer. As the sun sets behind them, I figure it is best I get Emma home and into bed. I rise from my seat and head out into the yard. Josh smiles as he sees me walking towards them. It breaks my heart, all the joy and love I see in his smile. It hurts as I try and figure out a way to tell him. I savor this smile, because soon I don’t know if I will see it ever again.

“I think it’s time we go home baby.” I say, kneeling down in front of Emma.

“I don’t want to go.” She pouts, her lower lip jutting out.

“Riley, stay for a little while longer, or for the night,” Josh suggests. I sigh before standing up and pulling him to the side.

“I would love to Josh, but Emma and I have no clothes for the night and Emma can’t sleep without her blanket. Not tonight okay.” He nods, allowing me to return to Emma.

“Mommy, I want to stay with Josh and play.” She runs to Josh and grabs ahold of his leg. His eyes widen at me.

“Emma, we can come back and play with Josh tomorrow after school. Sound like a deal?” I compromise. Reluctantly she agrees and I can see the tears slowly forming in her eyes. I can’t decide if this bond she is forming with Josh is a good thing or a bad thing. I think it might be time to tell him


	10. The Sitter

March 30th, 2023 - Josh’s POV

“You are rubbing off on her.” Riley jokes as she watches Emma filter out of the kitchen.

“I’m not sure I know what you are talking about?” I laugh as I pick the dirty plates up off of the table. I set them in the sink next to Riley, placing a kiss on her nose.

“You’re kidding? She just ate a plate and a half of chicken and rice. I have no idea where she puts it all.”

“She gives it to me.” I smile.

Riley whips around at the sound of her phone ringing and rushes to answer the call. I can’t hear anything but her side of the conversation.

“What do you mean you lost the paperwork? They are set to sign them tomorrow.” I watch as her expression becomes stressed.

“I can’t lose this client. Do you know how much I’m getting paid for this one, dammit?” She pauses to collect her thoughts. “What about my daughter, I can’t just leave her.”

“Riley,” I butt in. “I can watch her if you need to handle things at work.” I offer. She glances at me silently and contemplates my offer before speaking into the phone.

“I’ll be there in 20.” She hangs up, her gaze never leaving me.

“What?”

“Are you sure?” She asks hesitantly.

“Positive. Now go.” She grabs her keys and purse before heading for the door.

“Um, if you want to watch a movie that always knocks her out. Around eight or nine is fine. If not she has a, um,” She pauses and looks down. “She has a yellow blanket, try throwing that in the dryer for ten minutes.”

“Riley, don’t worry.” I assure her as she bends down to kiss Emma.

“Thank you.” She smiles before kissing me goodbye.

“Can I have a cookie?” Emma asks as soon as the door closes.

“She’s not even in the car yet and you are already trying to trick me? What am I going to do with you?”

“No cookies, then I want to play dress up.” She chimes. This girl is good.

“Nice try, but I think I’ll take my chances with the dress.” I smirk. Her face is of obvious disappointment as she leads me into her room. She heads for her trunk on the other side of the room. I watch as she examines the contents inside, putting her hand to her chin she looks back at me.

“I don’t think I have anything that will fit you.” Emma says, her nose scrunching in concern as I laugh.

“I guess I’m out of luck.”

“No, I’ll just have to do your hair.” I sigh as she runs into her bathroom and grabs her hair accessories.

“Emma, just make sure I look pretty,” I remind her as she begins her tugging on my head.

“Of course you will look pretty,” she giggles as she gets to work. I can feel her struggling with my short hair, her muffled grunts as she tries to clip things to my short locks.

“I’m done.” She finally gives up and hands me a little mirror. I had multiple bows sticking every which way.

Emma loses interest in me pretty quickly and moves on to her baby dolls. I watch her play for a while before a thought comes to me.

“Emma?” I begin. She stops and turns to look at me. “Have you ever met your daddy?” I blurt out. I can only hope she doesn’t say anything to Riley, or else I will be in deep shit.

Her face scrunches up before she simply replies with a ‘no’.

“Do you know who he is?” I try again. She turns back to her toys before shaking her head. I only had one more shot at this.

“Does mommy ever talk about him?” I urge on trying to find something out about the mysterious man.

“Mommy said he wished he could be here with me but that it wasn’t possible.” And with that, I can only assume he has passed on. My mind wonders if they were in love and possibly even married. I needed to find a good time to ask Riley.

“But I like you better.” Emma states.

“How can you like me better if you have never met him?” I ask her.

“Well, cause you are here and you play with me.”

I smile at the little girl that I have grown to love as much as I love her mother.

Riley’s POV

It was 10:30 by the time I made it home. Carefully, I unlock my door and step inside. It’s dark and I can hear a soft melody coming from the living room.

“Josh?” I call out quietly. I wait but I receive no answer.

“Josh?” I try again as I round the corner into the living room. It’s dark in there also, the only light coming from our TV. The menu to a Disney movie is on the screen. Josh is sprawled out on the couch with Emma on his chest, both deeply asleep.

I smile at myself, watching their chests rise and fall for a few minutes. My anxiety is growing over the impending reveal to Josh. If he’s the man I think he is, he will step up immediately and be the father Emma wants and needs. I’m just afraid that the longer I wait, the more pissed he is going to be. And the more pissed he is, the more likely he will want nothing to do with me. Granted he is going to be pissed either way, which is the only thing holding me back from telling him.

I pull the blanket from off the back of the couch and lay it over them before heading back to my room. It’s no telling how long this twisting in my stomach will keep me up tonight.


	11. Andre Finds Out

April 3rd, 2023 –Riley’s POV

 

Andre sits next to me on the bench, his sunglasses perched on his nose as we both watch Josh play with Emma on the playground. Josh grabs Emma’s hand and starts heading back our way. I lean back as they approach.

“I knew I should ask mommy’s permission first, but I wanted to take Emma to get some ice cream.” Josh smiles, knowing very well I have a hard time resisting him when he smirks like that.

“Eat away.” I say, dismissing them with my hand. They both practically run across the park together.

“He really is great with her, isn’t he?” Andre comments to me.

“He’s amazing.” I agree. It hurt that other people could see it too.

“You know it’s crazy. Emma and Josh are like twins.” Andre jokes. I avert my eyes from him for only a second.

“I know, right?”

“Jesus, if I didn’t know any better…” He doesn’t finish his sentence.

“If you didn’t know any better what?” I eye Andre curiously.

“I would say she was his daughter.” He laughs to himself at the absurdity of his comment.

“Really?” I try to keep my cool as my heart feels like it’s about to burst through my chest. I haven’t realized that their similarities have been as evident to others as they’ve been to me.

“It’s creepy really.”

“I… I wouldn’t say creepy.” I stutter, trying to keep my composure.

Andre slides his glasses down his nose to look at me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” I try to laugh but it comes out more as a hiccup.

“Why are you so nervous?” Andre inquires, turning his whole body towards me.

“I’m not.” My voice now becoming defensive. Andre studies me in silence, my body twitching with nervousness under his scrutiny. I just want to get out of here as soon as I can. His judgmental stare is getting the best of me, the sweat becoming prominent on my forehead.

“Riley, Emma isn’t Josh’s is she?” I’m trapped like a dog, Andre had picked up on it. I didn’t think I could wiggle my way out of this one, but I try.

“What? Why would you say that?” I hiccup again.

“You didn’t deny it. Riley, tell me the truth.” Andre’s voice lowers. I have never seen this side of him. It’s dark and menacing.

I take a deep breath and prepare for the oncoming train wreck.

“Yes, she is.” I close my eyes and turn my head away. I can feel the tears building up under my eyelids. I try my hardest to fight it, I didn’t want Josh to find out this way if he came back and saw me crying.

“Are you sure?” Andre finally speaks.

“Yes.”

It is silent for a minute before he finally continues. “I can’t keep something like this from my best friend.”

My eyes fly open and the begging begins. “Andre please, you have to, just for a little while. I need to figure out how I am going to tell him. He deserves to find out from me. I just need to figure out how to tell him.” I plead with him.

“Riley, I don’t know how long I can keep it from him.” Andre is too calm. It sets me on edge even more.

“Andre please, just give me a little more time,” I beg him again as I watch Josh and Emma making their way back towards us. Andre glances behind him quickly before silently agreeing with me.

Things have changed way too much. There is no way of knowing what happens next.

July 20th, 2018

I ran my fingers in slow circles on my temples before going back to folding my laundry. Emma’s cries began softly falling from the monitor next to me. The aggravated tears started pooling in the corners of my eyes. I needed just a few moments of silence. I couldn’t take her endless crying anymore.

My mother came over every now and then to give me a little relief but it wasn’t enough. I could feel myself slipping into post-partum. I struggled every minute with myself and my urge to strangle something.

I hated myself for even wanting to think the horrible things I did whenever I heard Emma crying. I couldn’t help but think about how quickly I could end it all, for me or for her. It was becoming increasingly scary the thoughts swimming in my head.

Not a single day went by that I didn’t have my mom here. Did I wish I could take it all back? The secrets and the lies? If only I had told Josh, I could have him here, holding my hand and lulling Emma back to sleep.

But I opted out of that. I took the road less traveled by and winged it. Now I only had myself to blame for the things that were happening to me.

I sighed in relief as I heard keys jingle in the door. My mother entered silently, taking in the scene around her, the wailing that came from Emma’s room and me crouched over crying. Me, a poor excuse for a woman.

My mother headed into the nursery. I could hear her soft coos filter down the hallway. Slowly Emma’s cries died out and it was silent again. My mother returned to me, putting her arms around my shoulders.

“Mom, I can’t do it anymore.” I cried into her shoulder. I felt her soft nod of agreement.

“Riley, you need to get help, now, before this all gets worse than it already is.”

“I need you.” It hurt me to admit that I couldn’t do this on my own. I had tried for so long to hide the pain I was feeling and now it all exploded out into the mess in front of me.

“I know honey. I’m here.”


	12. Open Your Eyes

April 15th, 2023 – Riley’s POV

 

The house was becoming increasingly more crowded by the minute. Friends and family were being ushered into the backyard. It had turned out to be a beautiful spring day. It was perfect for moving the festivities out of my clean home.

I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of Josh and Andre. After what had happened only days ago, our communication had been minimal. I was talking as little as I could, keeping Josh at arm’s length. But they had been invited by both Emma and I before anything happened. Now I could barely focus on the watermelon I was cutting in front of me.

“Where’s the birthday girl?” I heard Josh’s voice rise as he entered the kitchen.

“Hey, she’s outside with my mother.” I half smiled as he kissed me on the cheek. Both Josh and Andre had brought gifts in with them. Andre didn’t say anything when he entered, simply walking past me and outside. My nose scrunched in frustration at the whole situation.

“I don’t know what’s up with him. He has been that way since we went to the park the other day.” Josh sighed.

“Really? That’s odd.” I responded nonchalantly.

“Yeah, he has barely said three words to me.”

“Well, what did you do?” I joked as I handed him the bowl of fresh cut watermelon.

“I did nothing,” he smirked as he took it from me. “Where am I taking this?”

“Outside please.” I leaned forward and pecked his lips.

“But of course.” Josh walked away from me and disappeared outside. I let out my breath, bracing myself on the counter.

Andre hadn’t said anything. Which I’m grateful for, but now it was affecting his relationship with Josh. Now my decisions were not only affecting Josh, but his friends. When would my lies stop, when would I be able to stop fucking up everybody else’s lives? I was sinking and dragging everyone else down with me.

I jumped when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up to see Andre standing on the other side of the counter. I quickly wiped away the tears I suddenly realized were falling down my cheeks. Turning around, I tried to busy myself with the food laid out around my kitchen.

“Riley?” Andre finally spoke.

“What Andre? What do you want me to say?”

“Riley, I can’t do this anymore. And it’s very clear neither can you.” He whispered, glancing outside. I followed his gaze to Josh and Emma running around the backyard.

“Andre please…”

“Don’t ‘Andre please’ me. I can’t keep this a secret anymore. It’s keeping me up at night and it’s not fair to Josh,” he interrupted me. I was startled into silence. “Say something.”

“I’m trying Andre. Don’t you think I’m trying? It’s just not as easy as it sounds. Look at how happy he is, I can’t watch the light run from his eyes Andre, I just can’t.” I sputtered.

“You’re doing this for you own selfish reasons. This isn’t about his happiness, it’s about yours. You just don’t want to lose him. You have no idea what his reaction will be. And if he leaves you again, so be it. If you truly loved him you would tell him. Stop lying to yourself Riley. You tell him today or I will.”

And with that he filtered out of my kitchen, leaving me dumbstruck. I knew he was right. Every word he said. I’m not putting it off because Josh finally looks happy; I’m putting it off because I don’t want to lose him.

Josh’s POV

I put Emma back under the watchful eyes of Riley’s parents. I decided to head back in and see if Riley needed some more help. I was about to enter when I heard Andre’s hushed voice.

“… it’s not fair to Josh.” I halted just outside.

Not fair to Josh? What wasn’t fair to me? Pressing my back to the wall, I listened to the cries coming from Riley.

“… I just can’t.” She spat out.

Can’t what? I was getting more and more confused as I listened. I debated whether or not I should just walk in until I heard Andre reply.

“You are doing this for you own selfish reasons. This isn’t about his happiness, it’s about yours. You just don’t want to lose him. You have no idea what his reaction will be. And if he leaves you again, so be it. If you truly loved him you would tell him. Stop lying to yourself Riley. You tell him today or I will.”

It’s quiet until I heard a door close and open. I peaked around the corner and saw Riley still in the kitchen just staring. There were tears falling down her face. I took a deep breath before stepping into the kitchen.

“Hey, have you seen Andre, I need his help with something,” I asked her. She wiped her face quickly but I pretended not to notice.

“Yeah, he just went that way.” She choked out before exiting to the backyard. I followed where she pointed, finding Andre standing in front of her fireplace.

“What’s up?” I questioned. Andre turned, startled that there was someone in the room with him.

“Nothing. I’m just looking at pictures of Emma.” He frowned, turning back to the fireplace.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she?”

“Yeah she is.” He agreed. Frustrated with the small talk, I moved on.

“So, is there something you would like to tell me?” Andre was quiet for a minute before he answered.

“Nope.” He shrugged.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah I’m sure.”

“Then why won’t you look at me.” I argued, grabbing his shoulder. He turned back to me, still refusing to make eye contact.

“I was looking at the pictures.” He defended himself.

“Bullshit, I heard you talking to Riley in the kitchen. What do I need to know?” My voice rose slightly.

“Josh please, it’s not my place.” Andre sounded worried.

“Then why did you threaten her with telling me? Obviously it’s something important.” I could see Andre’s façade crumbling.

“Josh,” he began, but I cut him off.

“No don’t Josh me. I am not a child; tell me what I need to know.” I demanded.

“Emma, okay?”

“What about Emma?” My confusion was growing.

“Emma’s your daughter Josh.”

I felt my stomach drop. There was no way. “Excuse me?”

“Think about it Josh, she is your spitting image.”

“That’s impossible! I was still married when she was born.” I continued to fight her accusation.

“Quit lying to yourself Josh. You and I both know about that." I was silent. "Jesus Christ Josh, open your eyes! You cheated on your wife five years ago and Emma is the outcome of that affair. Man up, and don’t deny your child.” She huffed.

I was in awe at her outburst. I thought maybe I knew it all along and I was just in denial. Maybe what I really needed was for someone to actually tell me. But that doesn’t change the fact that Riley lied to me.

I have a daughter.

I have a daughter.


	13. Not This Way

May 8th – 2023 (Riley’s POV)

 

It has been twenty minutes since Andre and I talked. I know what’s best for my family, and I will tell Josh tonight, after everything is over. Whatever happens, happens and I have to accept that.

Everyone has started gathering in the dining room since Emma’s incessant nagging about her cake pushed me over the edge. I hear the door to the kitchen slide shut as I stick a candle into her cake. I look up to see Josh standing there, the smile that spreads across my lips quickly fading once I see Josh’s expression.

“Josh, are you okay?” I ask timidly. He licks his lips, not meeting my eyes. I wait for him to answer.

“You know, I’ve been standing in the bathroom thinking of what to say first. Everything that came to mind didn’t work for me. So I’ll let you start,” he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What are you talking about?” I wipe the residue off my hands onto a towel, shifting my stance.

“Oh, don’t play games with me.”

“Don’t play games with you? I don’t even know what the hell you are talking about. Please enlighten me,” my voice rises slightly.

“When did you plan on telling me?” He screams, the vein in his neck sticking out as he yells.

I jump, not expecting his backlash. The tears are brimming in his eyes. My heart sinks as I catch up to Josh, now knowing exactly what he is talking about.

“Anything?” He questions as I still stand frozen in place and dumbfounded.

“What do you want from me, Josh?” I yell back, the tears now falling down my cheeks.

“How about you start with what the fuck you were thinking! How could this have ever ended well? I cannot see a happy ending anywhere in this!”

“I did this for you Josh! I did it for Emma!” Stepping around the counter, I point my finger at Josh.

“Did this for me? How was this for me?”

“I was trying to save your reputation, for God’s sake you were married Josh!” I wasn’t even sure what gestures I was making anymore. The world around me was becoming fuzzy.

“Why do you think I slept with you in the first place? I wasn’t happy, I was lost and I was crying out for you to save me.” He steps closer to me.

“I was scared. I was pregnant with a married man’s child; a man who put up a show to the whole world that his wife and he were the perfect couple. I couldn’t fuck that up. And what about Emma? I did it to protect her from the craziness that is your life.”

“You are grasping at straws now Riley. Tell me the truth.” Josh’s voice booms through the kitchen. 

“I’m not grasping at anything. I need you to understand how scared I was.”

“Riley, I was scared too. I waited for you to call me and save me from my sham of a marriage. But you never showed up.”

I throw my hands in the air. “Why was it my job to save you, Josh? I admit that what I did was stupid. I admit that it was selfish of me. Maybe I was just making excuses for my actions, but it’s over and I can’t go back.” My chest begins to heave as I try to catch my breath, sobs rocking my body. 

Josh finally speaks as my breathing evens. “I have to go.”

My head snaps up. “You’re just going to walk out in the middle of Emma’s party? You can’t just up and leave now. Josh, she is too attached. Walking out, I… I can’t even imagine what it will do to her.”

“I have to. I’ll be back when my head is clear.” He turns and heads for the door.

“Josh, don’t you walk out on this family!” I scream to his back.

He glances at me over his shoulder before pushing the door to the dining room open. I follow him, both of us stumbling into a room full of people. It’s clear by the look on their faces they have heard everything. Josh walks straight through the crowd towards Emma. She looks up from her friends to Josh. I watch as he crouches down and places a lingering kiss on her forehead before exiting. My heart shatters as she runs to the window, watching him get in his car and leave. She turns to me once he’s out of sight.

“Mommy, where is Josh going?” She asks, the innocence in her voice nearly breaking me. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, waiting for my response.

“He had to go home baby.” I crouch down as she walks over to me. I can see she is still confused as I brush the hair out of her face.

“Why? We haven’t even had cake yet.”

“I know, he had some things he has to take care of.”

“Will he be back?” She questions further. I gulp, looking up at my mother and Madison. Their looks of distress match mine. Madison shrugs, unsure of how to help me. I look back at Emma as she looks at me waiting.

“I hope so.”

One week later…

I sit down gently on the corner of my desk. The drawings in my hands are all blurring together. If I don’t get my head in the game, I’m going to lose this client. I set the papers down and begin rubbing small circles on my temples with my fingers.

I still haven’t heard anything from Josh. After walking out, there has been not as much as a text from him. I keep trying to text Andre in an attempt to figure out what’s going on. I always get the same two-worded response: ‘Not yet’.

It’s become increasingly harder to be at home again, every day Emma asking me where Josh is. I’m running out of excuses, fast. I’m afraid one of these days I’m going to lash out at her.

I can’t blame Josh for being upset, but this is not what Emma deserves. All she knows is her new favorite person in the world has just disappeared.

My head snaps up as two quick beeps come from the phone on my desk. I hit the intercom button.

“Yes, Monica,” I groan, not really feeling up to anything at the moment.

“There is someone here to see you,” she pipes through the line.

“I’m not really feeling up to it; tell them I’m in a meeting.” The line is silent for a moment before she responds again.

“He says it’s about your daughter.”

I nearly choke. “Send him in.” My heart feels as though it’s about to jump out of my chest as I wait for the person. I quickly answer the knock on the door and watch as Josh steps into my office. He takes off his hat and aviators as he closes the door behind him. We stare at each other in silence before I open my mouth.

“Head nice and clear?” I laugh. He nods, the ice beginning to crack underneath us.

“I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked and I’m sorry for that.”

“Emma really misses you.” I say, the corners of my mouth twitching up slightly. The pain behind his eyes is evident after my statement.

“I know, I’m sorry about that too. I’ve done an awful lot of thinking these past few days.” Josh pauses.

“And…?” I urge him forward as he steps closer to me.

“You hurt me. I feel like such an idiot for not seeing it sooner. I feel guilty because I wasn’t there for Emma, or you.”

“Josh you don’t have to feel guilty. You didn’t know,” I smile, trying to not let him blame himself for my mistakes. He continues like I said nothing.

“But then I was thinking, that because I was stupid, I missed out on some of the most precious years of her life. I was wallowing in my own self-pity, and that wasn’t doing anybody any good. I decided that I already missed so much that I wasn’t going to miss anymore. I’m going to be there for our daughter.”

I can feel the emptiness inside me filling with each and every word Josh speaks. Emma needs him, and it’s good to know that my mistakes won’t affect that.

“I’m glad to hear that.” My words flow out on a relieved breath.

“Riley, you hurt me. You strung me along like nothing had happened. I know you were scared, but I needed to know. That being said, after all that has happened, I think it’s pretty obvious how I feel for you. I don’t think we were ever truly over, and while I did love my wife, it was and never will be the same as what I feel for you.” Josh grabs my hand, pulling my arm from its position across my chest. “Riley, it’s going to take some time, but I want us. I need us. Emma needs us. We can grow as a family because you are the most important people in my life now.”

“Are you sure? I didn’t screw you up too much?” I muse, wiping away the tears from my cheeks.

“Not any more than you can fix,” he laughs, cradling my face in his hand.

“For Emma,” I glance up at him.

“And for us.” He whispers as his lips gently mold into mine.


End file.
